


La Trenza

by sskkyyrraa



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, M/M, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 22:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8915428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sskkyyrraa/pseuds/sskkyyrraa
Summary: For a guy who walks around with a literal spa in his pocket, Taako sure does seem to neglect his hair. Kravitz, Merle, and Magnus set up a plan to fix things.





	

**Author's Note:**

> i've been babysitting my five (5) year old cousin in the mornings lately before she gets on the bus for school. part of that involves sitting her down, brushing out her hair, and then styling it. spoiler alert: little girls with long, thick, and curly hair HATE having their hair messed with.

Kravitz decides to knock on the door rather than open a rift immediately in the shared living room of the reclaimers. Magnus, big and burly, answers the door. He blocks the view into the room but that seems to be more of body typing rather than distrust. He smiles, a tooth missing and Kravitz can't remember if he was already missing that tooth last he saw him or if it's a new development.

“Oh hey, dude. Taako's not here right now. He's... ah, well. He's off somewhere I guess?” Magnus says but he opens the door wider and waves him in. Merle is sat on the coffee table, polishing his boots. He looks up and grunts in acknowledgment. Kravitz and the other parts of the trio are friendly enough to each other now. Magnus is always ready with a smile and small talk and Merle and Kravitz mostly stay out of each other's way.

“That's quite alright. I'm actually here to see you two,” Kravitz says. He doesn't sit and the boys don't offer a seat. They can be quite rude without meaning to. Kravitz tries to just see it as a charming flaw. No use getting upset over small nuances. Manners schmanners, he think he heard Magnus say once? Manners schmanners indeed. Merle groans dramatically, putting his boot down and crossing his arms.

“I thought we worked out the whole bounty thing when we saved your ass?” he says. Kravitz can see Magnus tense up, body ready for a fight. Kravitz's eyebrows shoot up and he shakes his head quickly.

“No! No! That's not-- That's not why I'm here. I, uh, I have a question actually. About Taako?” his voice squeaks a little uncertainly as Magnus relaxes. Merle on the other hand sneers and frowns.

“Gross. You're not gonna ask for his hand in marriage or something right?”

“What? N-no! Gods, no. Why would--? We haven't even--” Kravitz sputters, eyes darting around the room as he tries to laugh it off as a joke. “No. We-- This isn't about us. Taako and me, I mean. It's just-- Taako. Have you ever, well, hmm... Have you ever seen him brush his hair?”

Magnus and Merle's eyebrows raise. It's not the question they were expecting, all goofs aside. But it is one that makes them think. _Have_ they ever seen Taako brush his hair? And if not, then _did_ he? It's not like he sat in the living room and brushed his hair with long, loving strokes. Who knows what he did behind his bedroom door? And yet--

“You know... He has been wearing that braid for a while. I plaited it, what? Three months ago?”

“Yeah! And that was after I cut it because he got it caught in Noelle's arm during training.”

“So, Taako hasn't done anything different with his hair in three months?” Kravitz says with a grimace. “Does he-- Does he even wash it?”

The room goes silent as they mull over these details with sickened faces.

“We have to do something,” Magnus says finally. Quietly and looking down at his lap. He looks up with fierce determination in his eyes. “We have to do something. This isn't right. No one should have to live this way.”

“If we work together--” Kravitz starts, mind working out a plan.

“Together? Taako is our friend and if anyone is going to help him it should be--”

“No, Merle. Kravitz is right. If we're going to do this we're going to need all the help we can get. What do you have in mind?” Magnus says, jaw clenched. Kravitz nods and explains his plan.

 

 

It's an hour later that Taako comes home. He swings open the door, umbra staff hooked over the crook of his elbow. He's holding a Fantasy Costco bag on a wrist and playing with a Rubik’s Cube. He grins, holding up the puzzle.

“Look what I stole from Ango. He says it's a puzzle of some sort but I don't really get it. I like the sound it makes,” he says while spinning the columns with soft clicks. He watches the colors as he heads towards his bedroom. Merle jumps up and stops Taako from walking away.

“Hey! Uh, that's real cool, buddy! Why don't you chill with us and show it off! What'd the li'l twerp say when you took it?”

“Ugh! He was no fun at all! He said he brought it to give me in the first place! Totally killed the fun of stealing it. I'm gonna go take a nap, though,” Taako says. Magnus jumps up now, crossing the room and puts a hand on his shoulder.

“What? No! Come and tell us about your day! You know you weren't really around today. We, uhm, we--”

“We missed you!” Merle finishes. Taako narrows his eyes. He shrugs off Magnus's hand and steps back, crossing his arms but keeping a hand on his umbra staff.

“Uh huh, sure. What do you want?” he says. Magnus and Merle glance at each other. They were supposed to keep Taako occupied until Kravitz came back with supplies. Which shouldn't be a problem, but right now in the moment they found they didn't know what to say to actually keep Taako around. Merle smiles.

“Just your company! Come on, sit down. Magnus was just telling me about... Uh, when he was young he... Well, you know? Magnus tells it best!” Merle says, touching Taako's elbow gently. Magnus blows air out his nose.

“When I was a kid! I had a dog, beautiful mutt of a thing. I was telling Merle how much I miss him,” he says. He goes back to the armchair, distancing himself from Taako. He knew Taako liked his space. He'd feel more at ease with his own bubble. Merle taps Taako's elbow but otherwise leaves him alone, returning to the couch. Taako relaxes, putting down his Fantasy Costco bag and stepping forward.

“Alright fine. I'll hang out in here while I pop out the pieces and put it back together so all the colors match. That'll show Angus,” he says, dropping onto the couch next to Merle.

 

It's twenty minutes later that Kravitz rips a rift through space and time into the living room. Taako looks up from his project and makes a small startled noise.

“Kravitz? You didn't say you'd be visiting today,” he says. Then he smiles, eyes crinkling with the sincerity of it. Kravitz's stomach flips and he puts his cloth tote bag down by the arm of the couch.

“I wanted to surprise you. Is that okay?” he asks, stepping forward. Taako's expression softens and he tilts his chin upwards slightly.

“That's more than okay, my dude. Come see what I stole from Angus.” Kravitz steps into Taako's space, bending over him to place a sweet kiss on Taako's upturned face, right on the corner of his lips. Taako's eyes flutter shut and he turns into the kiss. Kravitz reaches behind his head and pulls out the ribbon holding the end of Taako's braid together. It snags lightly, pulling his head back. Taako's hands fly up with a loud exclamation.

“What's the big id--”

“I'm sorry, Taako. This is for your own good.”

Merle kicks forward, knocking away the umbra staff and Taako's hat while Magnus darts forward and jumps over the couch. Behind it, he grips Taako's hair. Taako makes a move to get away but Kravitz holds onto his wrists. It's not a tight grip but there's a warning in it. Taako glares.

“What the fuck, you guys? Should I be rolling for initiative?” he spits, trying to wriggle out of Kravitz grasp. Merle is kneeling on the couch and with Magnus they try to finger-comb out the frizzy braid.

“No, no, darling. We're not trying to hurt you. We just want to help you.” Kravitz says in what he hopes is a soothing tone. He loosens his grip and brushes his thumb over Taako's wrist. Taako's glare doesn't let up but he does stop struggling. He jerks forward when Magnus yanks at a knot.

“What are you talking about? What are you doing?” he asks, trying to look over his shoulder. Merle hops off the couch and digs through the bag Kravitz brought.

“We're fixing your hair. It looks like a rat's nest up there. When's the last time you took out this braid?” Merle says. He has a spray bottle of water in one hand and a wide toothed comb in the other. He hands the comb to Magnus and starts to spray at the thick hair.

“I-- Uhm... Never? I don't know? What does it matter? Let me go!” Taako says, shrinking away from the cold water.

“We wouldn't have to do this if you took care of yourself. We're just worried about you, Taako,” Magnus says gently. Starting at the bottom, he begins running the comb through his hair.

“This is bullshit. I can take care of my- Fuck! Watch it!” Taako yells, jerking away and grabbing his hair away from Magnus. His scalp stings from being pulled at. Kravitz sinks to his knees and gathers Taako's hands in his lap.

“We're doing this so it doesn't get worse. We won't cut it or change it at all. Let us just brush it out and fix the braid,” he says. Taako glares down at him for a long moment. “Let us take care of you.”

Slowly, Taako sits back and takes a deep shuddering breath. Magnus goes back to running the comb through his hair. Merle is back digging through the bag. He finds a brush and starts working on the other side of Taako's head. Kravitz smiles and hands Taako the Rubik's Cube.

The next thirty minutes are captured with swearing, yelling, threats, and thrown things

“Let me just cut it! I'm cutting it out!”

“Don't even think about it, Magnus.”

“What the-- Hold still! The brush is stuck!”

“The brush is stuck? Let me see!”

“Fucking horseshit on a stick!”

“Taako! Sit down! We're not done yet!”

“I'm gonna burn a spell slot on you if you don't put those scissors down right now.”

“I have spell slots too and if you don't sit back down--”

“Fine, fine. Shit. This is the worst day of my life.”

“Okay, I know you said we can't cut your hair but...”

“Mmmm, okay! No more! I'm done!” Taako yells, throwing his hands up. He pushes himself off the couch and launches across the room. He points a glowing finger at the group. “I appreciate the help but that's it! My head hurts and as far as I can tell you're just making it worse!”

“Taako, love, look,” Kravitz says, offering a hand mirror. Taako scoffs while ripping it from Kravitz's hand. He looks down at his reflection and gasps. His thick and curly hair is tamed from his forehead and down in a simple but effective french braid. While normally dull and frizzy, his hair is shiny and the fine baby hairs carefully lay framing his face in swirls. He pulls his hair over his shoulder. It looks like Magnus had done some trimming because all the dead split ends are gone.

“Well? What do you think?” Magnus asks.

“I would have done something nicer but you wouldn't hold damn still,” Merle gripes.

“You look incredible,” Kravitz says. Taako touches the end of his hair, smiling softly at his reflection. He looks up then, his face blank and he rolls his shoulders.

“Yeah. It's alright. But can we, like, as a whole agree to never do this again?” he says with a frown. He plays with running the ends of his hair across his knuckles. It was one thing to be pampered when he couldn't see Merle, Magnus, and Kravitz but now looking in their eyes he feels awkward and put on the spot. The last time he had someone spend this much time on his hair was before his cooking show. He was cooking for a family of traders when he had gotten lice. They had dunked his head in garlic, cooking oil, and apple cider vinegar and meticulously combed his head for the parasites. It had taken hours before they decided to just shave his hair off. He would take him four years before he got back to his original length.

Kravitz reaches out and squeezes his hand. Merle and Magnus are already packing up the supplies, more or less bored with the whole thing. Taako steps forward, pulling Kravitz to his feet. They touch foreheads and share a secret smile. Taako raises himself up on his toes and their lips meet.

“Gross! Get a room!” Merle yells, throwing soft roller curlers at the couple. Taako flips him off, pulling Kravitz into a deeper kiss and wrapping a leg around his body. Magnus wolf whistles and Merle makes loud dry heaving sounds.

“You know? That's not such a bad idea,” Kravitz says with a smirk. Taako laughs, a bright sound that fills the room.

“Oh yeah? You think that because I'm pretty now I'm easy?”

“You don't think I didn't work hard enough for you?”

“You didn't do shit, my man!”

“Are you serious? If I didn't hold you down you'd be missing an ear or something.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, bubbeleh,” Taako says, patting Kravitz's chest. He adjusts his tie and kisses his cheek. “Come on, I'm long overdue for a nap.”

“Is that an invitation?”

“Gods, just go! I'm gonna be sick,” Merle says, pushing at the back of Taako's knees. “And don't mess up your hair. Magnus and I worked too damn hard for you to ruin it because you can't keep it in your pants.”

Taako sticks his tongue out and takes Kravitz hand, leading him into his bedroom.

“You're not my real dad!” he yells behind him and slams the door shut. Magnus comes to stand by Merle, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“They grow up so fast,” he says tearfully, pretending to wipe away a tear.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you enjoyed this bc i had a lot of fun writing it!  
> feel free to follow me on twitter @sskkyyrraa or tumblr at lesbianwario im always looking for more TAZ mutuals :)


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